Last night I awoke to a
ohh UHh
sound.
I was not happy.
Sure enough about 15 seconds later the sound maker gets out of bed awkwardly hunched over and delicately walks out of the room to the bathroom. Did that dude just wet dream?
The layout
This guy has his top sheet looped around the rail on the top bunk (he sleeps on the bottom bunk) so he has a sheet wall creating a little private cubby. When I went to sleep the sound maker also had his laptop back there .... SURFING THE INTERNET, oh god. For the hour before I fell asleep this mouth breather was breathing even louder than usual, and I swear I heard some wet noises. Ill derail for a second and bitch about loud, mouth breathers. Do you not notice how fucking loud you are? Doesnt your mouth dry out?
Also
My mp3 player is ancient. When I first showed it to Dutch he exclaimed
Holy Shit! It also comes with a workout plan!
I stared back with a confused look. He picks it up and pumps it like a barbell.
Oh you sonofabitch
My iRiver H320 from 2002 kicks ass. I had this bitch playing video years before the iPod Video came out, AND I can listen to radio, and record the radio. The feature all you apple jerks wish you had? Two lines out, so two people can listen without using a splitter or putting one headphone in each persons ear, because if you even have a splitter, you can{t find it when you need it.
Downside to my iRiver h320..
It stops working at high altitudes. It says there are zero files on the harddrive, and thats that. I run into this issue every time I fly. I eventually realized if I turned it on early in the flight (before you{re really high up) it worked just fine. You cannot turn it on and expect it to work once youre way up there.
In Merida I had a big problem. The city was so high up, my mp3 player never worked. And there was NOTHING to do during Semana Santa, fuck. On day 2 or 3 I had a brilliant idea.. put the mp3 player in a plastic bag.. turn it on.. squeeze bag for the 30 seconds it takes to get going therefore simulating a lower elevation with the increased air pressure. BINGO! It worked! I had the same problem in Medellin (except when there was a high pressure weather system. Medellin is right on the edge, so if it was rainy or anything the pressure dropped just below the threshold and the mp3 ceased to function again)
Bogota is so high up (I guess, or there might be a problem with my baby) that no matter how hard I squeeze the plastic bag it still tells me there are no files.
Why is this relevant?
I couldn{t drown out noise makers shenanigans with some Tupac or David Guetta, I had to push through it without any help.
Later today noise maker started chatting me up. Said he had to get up early and teach a 6am class (freelancing gringo English teacher) and that he always sleeps through his alarms that early. So on the occasional days he has the early class he stays up all night. STAYS... UP... ALL.. NIGHT... ......
This mother fucker didn{t wet dream, he fucking busted one out in a room with 7 other strangers attempting to sleep. ahhhhh, not cool. This reminds me of a time I was at a computer lab in Auckland and the guy next to me started jacking off to erotic literature. To be fair this computer lab was trying to be modern looking and was really dim, but damn dude, you looked like you were having a seizure.
This afternoon I was hanging out at the Platypus hostel (like normal) and the Mexican guy in the group wanted to hear some terrible jokes. The group consisted of myself, black american guy, white brit, white aussie, half colombian half american girl, darkish israeli guy, and the darkish mexican.
Some people went for it and threw down some pretty rough black and jew jokes. When people ran out of their most offensive jokes the mex said he had a really terrible one. He was right, it{s pretty bad. Nothing I couldnt handle, but the colombian american girl didn{t find this one tolerable.
He says..
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender and turn it on?
Fuck, I dont know I was too busy jacking off.
Ba dum pshh
Thats all folks.
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